Made by Courtney, age 2.
Recovering from the heartbreak of divorce, I eventually signed up for an online dating service. After years of sad, stressful times, I just wanted to relax and have fun, get out in the world, talk to some interesting new people.
He was my third date. Smart, funny, sweet, and kind. With blue eyes and a cleft chin, he was handsome in an understated, classic way. Best of all, there was nothing he wouldn’t say yes to, from new foods to travel. He taught me about sailing; I shared my love of cycling. We took turns planning dates that involved something new for the other person. Over a couple of years we grew ever closer, often marveling at just how close we felt.
Half French, he took me to Paris to experience the culture he loves so much. His goal was to show me every single thing he loves in La Ville Lumière. Unfortunately, I was so tired that I didn’t feel like myself. My customary verve and joi de vivre were flagging along with my body. Continue reading
I’m no stranger to major loss. As a teenager, I lost my beloved family home and other ties to childhood in the wake of huge financial losses for my parents.
Then came the death of my father after a five-year struggle with lymphoma. Later came the excruciatingly slow passing of my mother-in-law to Alzheimer’s, and my own mother’s declining memory.
Then, the nearly unbearable abyss of divorce. A few years later, I’d only just started to approach feeling whole when a tiny tick transmitted the lyme that knocked me to my knees—and even further down.
The holidays, a touchstone to the past, intensify the grief. I feel it in every cell of my being.
Recently I said to my therapist, who is helping me get through the many stresses of chronic lyme, “A year ago, I thought I had a handle on the losses lyme has sent my way. And I sure thought I had processed all that grief from childhood, and all that terrible pain from the breakup of my family. Why am I so overwhelmed all over again?”
And she said, “Because grief is like a rubber-band ball.” Continue reading
Taking care of yourself isn’t, well, rocket science…
[Dr. Robert Goddard. Credit: NASA on Flickr/The Commons]
I’ve had the misfortune of getting re-infected just as I was pulling out of two-plus years during which I was largely sidelined by lyme and other tick-borne infections. There’s a bit of good news, however. I learned a few things the first time around, and I’m doing things differently.
Here are some lessons I’ve learned. Maybe you can benefit by taking them to heart now, instead of learning the hard way like I did over time and missing out on benefits you could have enjoyed much, much sooner. Continue reading