Tag Archives: losses

No Whining

Well, maybe just a little.

Well, maybe just a little.

Today everyone at my office is getting ready for the holiday party. I can just see them all, arriving in the kitchen in a flurry to stuff the fridge with their pot-luck contributions for later this afternoon.

I talked to Sonya on the phone last night while she made bread pudding. Charlotte can always be counted on for a gourmet surprise. I, however, will not be there with my hot buffalo chicken dip complimented in years past. I’m into my third month of being unable to go to work.

I know I should avoid whining, but  I’m going to embrace it and indulge in a little pity party. Then I’ll get on with my day. I decided to follow this approach after seeing a cancer patient interviewed on a t.v. talk show (yes, I watch talk shows these days, another lyme-inspired low). Continue reading

Advertisements

The Train Not Taken (with apologies to Robert Frost)

Mom at 96, September 2012.

Mom at 96, September 2012.
Credit: Catherine Fox

I’m very sad today. My mother, 96, one of the most extraordinary, life-filled people I have every known, has entered hospice care in my sister’s home, where she has been lovingly cared for over the past several years.

Naturally, I wanted to travel there to see my mother and to support my sister. I know I don’t have the stamina to drive almost five hours, and when I am sickest my lack of concentration makes me a danger on the road so I don’t get behind the wheel.

I decided to try the train. All I have to do is sit there, right? Amazing how the voice of lyme denial tries to get me to do things I shouldn’t. 

My doctor told me that since we are adding meds this month for the next level of treatment, I should go now if I must, before the herxing increases.  Note the “if”; she understands that I want to go—that this is my mother—but I could hear the reservations in her voice.

Today is the day I’d planned to go. I made the decision last week when I felt better. I came to my senses two days ago. Continue reading