Tag Archives: chronic illness

VIDEO: “Unrest”

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I would have missed this award-winning documentary on PBS by a young woman named Jennifer Brea had my brother not alerted to me to it after he heard a segment on NPR. (See below for streaming links).

Here are a few words that were in my mind as I watched: Brilliant. Inspiring. Courageous. Talented. Heart-rending. Timely.

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Beware Infection and Re-infection with Lyme

My friend Mickey gave me this magnifying glass cleverly disguised as a necklace. Note the thin tweezers for grasping the tick close to the skin, and the sesame seed next to the nymphal tick.               LifeLoveLyme

My friend Mickey gave me this magnifying glass cleverly disguised as a necklace. Note the thin tweezers for grasping the tick close to the skin, and the sesame seed next to the largish-sized nymphal tick.
LifeLoveLyme

 

 

Last week, I had just pulled out of my brother’s driveway in the gorgeous countryside on the outskirts of Middleburg, Virginia, when I felt an itch on my ankle. I looked down and saw a teensy tick clinging on by its mouthparts. Wrenching the steering wheel, I pulled over in a blind panic. Using my fingernails as tweezers, I grabbed it as close to the skin as I could and got it off.

Chanting “Be calm, be calm,” I got out of my car and scanned the parts of my body I could see. There on the back of one leg was a larger tick. I struggled with that one but got it off, too.

Making a U-turn like I was in a movie getaway scene, I tore up John’s driveway, jumped from the car and ran into his house. I shouted out what I’d found as I headed for the bathroom, stripping off my clothes as I went.   Continue reading

10 Things I Wish I’d Known About Lyme Disease

IV treatment. Pills. More pills. I can't believe I made it through all that. When it could have been avoided...

That’s the little portable pump for my IV drugs. Then there were the pills. More pills. Harsh meds that made me sicker so I could get better. I can’t believe I made it through all that. When it could have been avoided…

 

 

It’s 2016, and I’m finally climbing out of the Lyme hell I fell into blindly four-and-a-half years ago. If only I’d known more, sooner.

Maybe I can help someone, somewhere, by offering a few things I was shocked to learn. Frankly, it is damned hard to pick just 10 things. But here goes:  Continue reading

O Canada

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I’m always a little stunned when I track this blog and am reminded that people from all over the world visit. So many of us are on the lookout for information.

Today I’m thinking about Canadians because lots of my traffic at the moment is coming from my neighbors to the north, who’ve been checking out my post from several years ago on how Lyme was affecting my brain at the time.  Looks like some of you are sharing the link on Facebook. Thank you!

Like others around the globe, many Canadians are having a tough time getting good treatment. Health officials just don’t get it (sound familiar?).

The nonprofit Canadian Lyme Disease Foundation says:  Continue reading

Blackberry Cobbler

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Photo: LifeLoveLyme

I miss cooking, I really do. I used to prepare meals all the time—for friends, for my kids, just for myself. I’m not an amazing cook, mind you. But I love the process, from chopping and stirring to arranging everything on pretty serving dishes.

When Lyme hit and left me breathless with shock, I couldn’t stand up long enough to stir a sauce, much less haul my pain-riddled self up and down the aisles of the grocery store and stand in the check-out line.

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Believing in Lyme When Looks Are Deceiving

Credit: Lyme Chick's Facebook page

Credit: Lyme Chick

“You look great!”

Many days, I wince when someone says that to me. I want to shout in frustration “I FEEL AWFUL!” And when I try to explain, I want to hear “I believe you”—not “But really, you do look great!”

I’ve felt hurt because even those closest to me don’t see my suffering sometimes. But I’m realizing it’s hard for them to believe how awful lyme can be if I don’t clue them in. Especially when it comes to pain. 

Not long ago, my longtime neighborhood book group got together for a potluck dinner. I was just getting to the point in my recovery where I could leave the house occasionally. So I said I’d love to come if I felt okay. Especially because they let me off the hook when it came to cooking a contribution for the table, which I knew I couldn’t manage.

Happily, I made it to the dinner. A few days later someone sent around a photo that included me. By the time I checked my email, a couple of others in the picture had piped up, making jokes about how the picture should have been photo-shopped…the usual chatter of people who hate photos of themselves.

I’m usually one of them. But I opened the file and had to admit I looked, well—great. Yes, great.

The thing is, I felt like hell on the inside.

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Grief is a Rubber-band Ball

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I’m no stranger to major loss. As a teenager, I lost my beloved family home and other ties to childhood in the wake of huge financial losses for my parents.

Then came the death of my father after a five-year struggle with lymphoma. Later came the excruciatingly slow passing of my mother-in-law to Alzheimer’s, and my own mother’s declining memory. 

Then, the nearly unbearable abyss of divorce. A few years later, I’d only just started to approach feeling whole when a tiny tick transmitted the lyme that knocked me to my knees—and even further down.

The holidays, a touchstone to the past, intensify the grief. I feel it in every cell of my being.

Recently I said to my therapist, who is helping me get through the many stresses of chronic lyme, “A year ago, I thought I had a handle on the losses lyme has sent my way. And I sure thought I had processed all that grief from childhood, and all that terrible pain from the breakup of my family. Why am I so overwhelmed all over again?”

And she said, “Because grief is like a rubber-band ball.” Continue reading